Boundaries are the pillars of the temple of parenting. The child will handle kick them daily waiting to see how strong they are. What are you doing (wrong) so that your children well behaved? Anything goes? I kept reading and evaluate-.
1. Give orders for others.
"Brush your teeth". "Sorts toys." "Put on your shoes." These are some of the signs that can surround a child. However, experts suggest that if you force your child to do something, your brain sends a message of resistance. "Asking questions invites the child to think for himself and helps you feel more capable, connected and ready to cooperate," Then, recommends asking "How can you do so that your teeth are clean?" Or "How can we do to enjoy more of the room?"
2. Always count to three.
They are parents who want immediate results, "stop hitting the wall at one ... At two, two and a half, two and three quarters ..." But the "magic" happens? Do children stop misbehaving after this quick account? The truth is that they will take the time to parents, and know they have some more chances to continue their behavior. "Having up to three can strengthen a child does not pay attention the first time, but it gives you several opportunities before they have to take action," "To get them to do things for themselves, and not in response to our anger or threats, we must show them that if they do things, the results depend on them. It is very important to teach our attitude: no anger, no shrieks, threats and, above all, without turn back and fulfill what you say.
3. Put aside the lesson learning.
"Do not do that!" "I came out of there!" "Do not touch!" What is the educational value of these imperatives? Any. Instead of saying "do not run at home," better "please, in walks home, because if you cannot hurt." The idea is that the indications are accompanied by an explanation, so that children can understand why a behavior is inappropriate or dangerous and can implement alternatives to different situations.
1. Give orders for others.
"Brush your teeth". "Sorts toys." "Put on your shoes." These are some of the signs that can surround a child. However, experts suggest that if you force your child to do something, your brain sends a message of resistance. "Asking questions invites the child to think for himself and helps you feel more capable, connected and ready to cooperate," Then, recommends asking "How can you do so that your teeth are clean?" Or "How can we do to enjoy more of the room?"
2. Always count to three.
They are parents who want immediate results, "stop hitting the wall at one ... At two, two and a half, two and three quarters ..." But the "magic" happens? Do children stop misbehaving after this quick account? The truth is that they will take the time to parents, and know they have some more chances to continue their behavior. "Having up to three can strengthen a child does not pay attention the first time, but it gives you several opportunities before they have to take action," "To get them to do things for themselves, and not in response to our anger or threats, we must show them that if they do things, the results depend on them. It is very important to teach our attitude: no anger, no shrieks, threats and, above all, without turn back and fulfill what you say.
3. Put aside the lesson learning.
"Do not do that!" "I came out of there!" "Do not touch!" What is the educational value of these imperatives? Any. Instead of saying "do not run at home," better "please, in walks home, because if you cannot hurt." The idea is that the indications are accompanied by an explanation, so that children can understand why a behavior is inappropriate or dangerous and can implement alternatives to different situations.
4. Forgetting the limits.
"When the limit is running, the boys instead of adapting to the new situation seek to change it again,". The key? Always appeal to dialogue: at dinner, way to school, or during the game. In addition, there is to do only what they do wrong: they all have to recognize and congratulate their successes. As for the limits, they must be balanced: it must not allow or forbid everything.
5. Abusing "no".
It is an important educational work, but the "no" constant ends up being very boring, besides ineffective. Limiting the use of" no "for necessary time to exercise authority, and so it will be attended by children and collect more sense.
6. "Do what I say, not what I do".
Many parents do not practice what they preach: they spend screaming through the house to tell the guys, just, not shout. How can they learn? "Imitating the behavior of their parents is the first form of children's learning?”
7. Use bribery.
It is a technique that can work in the short term, for example for your child to behave in the doctor's waiting room. But his main motivation will get the reward, do the right thing. "The danger is that children can become addicted to receive awards and accolades and not to clean your room or go to school if they do not understand why they do it," The key: change the "I am very proud of you" because "you have to be very proud of yourself."
8. Make the challenges too personal.
"You're a bad son." This sentence clearly sends the wrong message. So, you'd be attacking your child as a person, rather than flag as inappropriate certain behavior. "Sometimes it is not enough to know that we love our children, we must learn to communicate with them with love, talk to them without criticism, sermons, punishments, threats and blackmail, because this way of speaking (relate) with children can produce that challenge us, ignore us or, in the worst case, be us who want to harm inadvertently self-esteem and feelings.
9. Playing the good cop and bad cop.
"Wait until your father gets home" is heard quite a threat in families. Does this achieves the kids behave well? When you feel the need to consult with your partner you can tell that when he gets home, will discuss how to handle a situation. He will learn that you, Mom and Dad, are a team. The important thing is that a situation in which one parent personifies discipline and the other parent is not generated, no.
10. Failure to comply with what you say.
If you tell him your son not to watch television if not clean his room, but then you let CDs and watch your favorite program anyway. This will only confuse the child and send a double message.
"Boundaries are the pillars of the temple of parenting. The child will handle kick them daily waiting to see how strong they are. His punches will change in style with growth and strength, but be constant in the attempt to adult. The father is the architect of the temple which is responsible for keeping up those columns for transiting aggression unalterably".
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