Do you want to be friends with their teens? The good news is that by following a few rules, you can be the best friend of their children and still be a wonderful father.
This is not to exchange with their children intimate details of his private life, or dress in the clothes of her daughters. The problem is when parents act as part of the group, leaving young people feeling insecure and out of control. Actually, teenagers find it eerie when no one is in charge.
At the other extreme is the mother who is too rigid and that clings tightly to their children and the only thing you will achieve your teen is even more rebellious act against his authority. The work of a teenager is to assert its independence and the task very seriously; but more frightening is that this child will never ask for your guidance and support when needed. Your children should not worry about which scenario is scarier: if entering the car with a drunken friend or call to go looking for him.
This is not to exchange with their children intimate details of his private life, or dress in the clothes of her daughters. The problem is when parents act as part of the group, leaving young people feeling insecure and out of control. Actually, teenagers find it eerie when no one is in charge.
At the other extreme is the mother who is too rigid and that clings tightly to their children and the only thing you will achieve your teen is even more rebellious act against his authority. The work of a teenager is to assert its independence and the task very seriously; but more frightening is that this child will never ask for your guidance and support when needed. Your children should not worry about which scenario is scarier: if entering the car with a drunken friend or call to go looking for him.
What you need is to be a father "road", i.e. accessible but always aware of their children and just follow some simple rules.
Confidentiality is required
A true friend does not speak ill of his friends, including his teens. Sometimes it is necessary to ventilate information, but proceed with caution: if they learn that talked about them behind their backs, they will not share anything with you again.
If you have to talk about them with someone else, stick to their own feelings and fears (not reveal its embarrassing details), this makes it much less likely to violate their privacy.
Do not criticize your children's friends, unless there is a serious problem such as drug abuse or depression. Consider that 99 of every 100 times a troubled friendship fades alone.
Seize the moment
trying to involve a moody teenager and get him to talk, is too much for one time. Do this when you are relaxed and off guard.
To start a conversation, make sure you do not push or intrusive questions. If you want to know how your children feel about a particular topic, have them discuss the actions of another person.
Be a benevolent boss
Sometimes acting more like a friend and less like a dictator frees you from having to blame their teens to make smart decisions. Nobody (and particularly teenagers) likes to be told what to do and if you take a less hostile stance, your teen will be more inclined to do the right thing.
Parents who are friend type of teenagers actually have more control over them than those who are very strict. Essentially, teenagers have to "give permission" to discipline them and if they like their way and respect, will be much less likely to rebel. Never wait to tell "If Mom thanks for being so wise, '" but at some level it will understand.
0 Response to "How to be friends with their teens and continue to be a father"
Post a Comment